I feel so bad now, I feel bad that I just cannot do it, I can't be responsible enough, I can't do well enough, I can't commit... I think I'm kinda regretting joining OM now, should I have done that in the first place? Hmm. I don't know I'm just not committed enough to OM it feels like a burden to me now... I hate this feeling. And I hate the fact that I'm so selfish, even though I know that yes house shouldn't be everything in my life but it's quite weird, I've never intentionally ponned any house stuff, it's always forced by the situation, and yet... I don't know, it actually feels good, and I feel really guilty for that. And I'm so stressed, I can't do well in my studies, yet I'm still so ambitious, what do I do!
