February 19, 2011 @ 10:23 PM
This week has been quite a hard week... completely tiring and stressful and crazy and headachy, cried a lot, laughed a lot, quite extreme really. A lot of work, the homework, and really
trying quite hard to do better cos I know that I can and I really have to. It's saturday night and I'm completely drained. Physically and mentally. I guess it doesn't help that I was walking around virtually the whole day, houseprac then OM. Super tired and just want to go to sleep but I need to do work.
So anyway, in the end I didn't go for WTD and feel quite bad about it :/ I don't know if it was even worth missing cos frankly, OM today was quite ._. apparently tianling was telling me that there was a batch bonding time, really wish I was there I do love my batch so much. Thirteentoes! (: nevertheless I'll never know if it would have been better if I'd gone. I really don't like ponning any one of my commitments for the others, always feel very bad when I have to do that. Cos if you want to do something, you have to be entirely devoted to it. And that's how I feel about stuff. But to be honest, I really don't love guides as much as OM or housecomm, it's an irrational thing, and I'm such an irrational person and I always make crazy instinctive decisions and once I make them I rarely do change. Feel really very guilty for missing WTD but ohwell ): that's me.
So anyway, houseprac today! Think it went quite well apart from the overunning, and to be honest I'm a bit freaked out cos of... stuff. Which I shall not mention here. Hahaha. And I realise that I really love teaching cheers, maybe it's because I love cheering so much myself, but I just love watching the sec1s cheering the cheers that I teach with the other gamescapts today (: it gives me this crazy sense of fulfillment and accomplishment and makes me super high on adrenaline. Love housepracs there're only going to be 4 left D: idk why last year we only had one more than this year but it seems like a lot more. For some reason. Maybe the blurness last year was a good thing cos I didn't know how many housepracs were left and it was quite confusing so I think maybe I just made the most of each one O: idk housepracs seem so short and precious now.
And finally, OM, OM! I really don't know what to say about today's meeting cos I think it was quite unproductive... honestly I'm quite disappointed with the team. I think some people need to work better with each other and think more for the team instead of just their own opinions, cos that might not work properly. And I think we really should voice out our opinions more, and on the spot, instead of hesitating and waiting until last minute when we want to confirm everything. And we have to be more frank with each other, really think we should sit down and reflect about ourselves and the team in general, cos I think we really have a lot of potential but not all of us are putting in our best just yet. Nevertheless, I still do love us, I love the team so much. OMsidians rock! (: we can rise to the challenge, and we will.
On a side note, I love you Callista <3 you're my soul sister even though we're so different in some ways but we're also so similar it's amazing how we can just keep talking and going on and on and on endlessly about stuff, funny or serious or meaningful or meaningless or ingenius or just plain stupid. Anything (: love you so much. I'm so glad you're in the team honestly I don't know how I'd have survived this far without you. In any community, there is always someone worth knowing well (:
I'm really losing track of time, I don't know if time is speeding up or slowing down for me somehow. I find it really hard to believe that omg it's already mid February this month is ending soon next week is T1W8, but every single day I feel that it's so incredibly long and exhausting. I find it really hard to believe that events only happened yesterday or the day before or even earlier in the day, everything is just getting really confusing and surreal.
I think this week has really taken its toll on me, I just want to go to sleep now after all that crazy stuff, the extremities. But I'm glad it happened, I think I've come out of it just slightly stronger, a better person than I was last week. Isn't it great to realise that? (: that everything you go through, no matter how hard it is, always makes you a better person.
But sometimes I still wonder how I'm going to survive.
Then again, today's saturday! And I'm happy cos I really do love saturdays. Despite how tiring they are, it's just comforting to know that the week is ending soon and a new beginning is coming :D And I think I'm just glad that this whole crazy week is over.
I SURVIVED ANOTHER WEEK :D
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