March 5, 2011 @ 11:05 PM
Honestly today was quite disappointing, we weren't very productive and things. And i'm also quite disappointed in myself for being so stubborn and not listening to others. Feel quite horrible now, we have 16 days (excluding Sundays) and I really don't know how we're going to do this. I'm so nervous, there's so much to do, and we're still making last minute changes even now. I'm completely prepared to stay till 9 every day and forgo everything else- my sleep, my leisure, whatever. But I'm incredibly stressed and I really don't know how I'm going to do this and right now I just feel like screaming and crying and just escaping from this world somehow. I can't take it. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't think I can do this. I'm not good enough, I'm not as good as everyone else, it was just luck that I'm in this team, I shouldn't be here, there're so many better people out there. Inferiority complex? Just the stress getting to me? But I'm literally going crazy, someone please save me.
It was an incredibly painful and hard day, I don't know if I'm glad it happened.
But Founder's Day <3 cheering is never enough for me, I could do it for hours and hours and not get sick of it, I just love the unity of the whole school when we're cheering those cheers together, and how amazing it just is to be in the crowd, just cheering with everyone, so that no one really hears your voice as an individual, but as a whole, as a community, the sense of belonging is really what binds me to this school.
when we are out there in the dark
we'll dream about the sun
in the dark we'll feel the light
warm our hearts, everyone
