May 31, 2013 @ 9:15 PM
SPORTS FEST CHAMPIONS.
FOUR YEARS RUNNING.
no words, really. much of sports fest this year felt slightly disconnected because helping out at SFC, but it was good stuff nonetheless. the suspense of waiting for the results, the cheering when they announced that buckle was second (oops) and the ensuing joy and crazy phototaking sessions afterwards. i'm just glad our last sports fest ended as perfectly as the first one. we've come full circle, batch 13 (':
somewhere in the middle of the school song today after sportsfest i started crying because there have been so many mixed emotions towards house this year but-- four years of my house journey. four years. so much has changed. but so many things haven't. and i'm beyond grateful for that.
--
so, the term has ended and everyone is celebrating. seeing statuses all over the place with people celebrating. people going home to sleep the whole afternoon away. and i'm just sitting here like-- what holiday? so glad i'm escaping to wales tomorrow, but before that, a load of shit to deal with. and while i'm glad for the reprive, the thought of what is going to happen when i get back is utterly depressing. i just-- i'm just so tired of being pulled in so many different directions at once and i need a break and i need to get away from people and expectations but i can't. and i know i'm responsible for pulling such a huge load but at the same time i'm not sure why i'm doing this any more and i know i signed up for this but
please stop. please. i'm not sure what's wrong with doing things because i like them even if i'm not going to be doing them in future and i'm not sure what's wrong with doing things because you care and not for benefits or points. i'm tired of being pulled everywhere by obligations and expectations and disappointing people. most of all disappointing myself.
okay rant over i'll be okay
i will be okay.
